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New. [05 Dec 2004|01:31pm]
[ mood | tired ]

everoptimistic

I don't like this one anymore. So i'm gonna use that one now until I think think of a better name that isn't taken. Damnit.

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[04 Dec 2004|03:04pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

My will power sucks.

Had to run up to the mall to grab something for Carla, since it's her birthday and all. Oh! But on my way there I saw someone in a giant sub suit dancing on the corner of 250 and 31, i'm going to assume for Subway. I was laughing so hard I almost hit the guy in front of me. Oops. But yeah, it was hell trying to find a place to park and everything. Anyway, so i'm wandering around cluelessly trying to figure out what the hell i'm gonna get her, and I ended up buying a bunch of stuff for myself. I ended up buying a pair of pants and skirts and stuff, and I still had no idea what to get her. Nathan was working, he suggested I just wear the clothes I bought and say I bought her the gift of awesome fashion. Not a bad idea! I did eventually get her something, if only I had done it BEFORE buying all that other stuff. Sigh.

And to think, I get to do it all again! I still have to get people stuff, I just have no idea what yet. Christmas shopping is gonna kill me.

But! I'm in a good mood and that's all that matters.

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Livejournal is a cunt. [03 Dec 2004|08:30pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Can I have the username of an abandoned journal?
No. LiveJournal does not delete accounts for inactivity.

Even though it may appear that a user is no longer updating their journal, this can be misleading; the user might be making Friends-Only posts, or simply use the account for reading friends' posts and commenting on them. Some users also find themselves without Internet access for prolonged periods of time, but will continue with their journal at a later date.

Additionally, usernames are not currently recyclable. Even if the journal were deleted, you wouldn't be able to claim the username. If your desired username is already taken, try a variant (such as adding numbers, extra letters, or underscores), or select another username entirely.


I want the username Plague. It was created in 2001 and hasn't been updated AT ALL. Three years of nothingness. See that stuff right there? It's all bullshit. Fie on you, Livejournal.

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Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming.. [03 Dec 2004|07:55pm]
[ mood | sad ]

For once can't somebody just..not ask something of me?

No. Because then I would lose all purpose.

I hate being so negative, I really do, but everything seems to be pushing me lately. Er, everybody, even? I don't know. Maybe that's an exaggeration, there's a buncha people that are peachy, just a select few make me wanna scream.

I had more to say, but it's really not relevant.

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[02 Dec 2004|08:52pm]
[ mood | confused ]

I need a vacation. I don't think that's possible?

Work is starting to get a little too hectic. Now i'm going to be working Fridays alone, as well as Thursday alone, and occaisonally a Sunday shift by myself. I don't mind working more to make up for the fact that i'm alone, but it would be nice if they could at least pay me more. I'm also considering on finding a second job, rather it just be for the holiday season or permanent. I don't know how long i'd be able to last, though.

I keep forgetting about Carla's party on Saturday. I don't think I wanna go, but I don't really have a choice. (Shh, I didn't say that.) Nothing against her or anything, because she's cool and all but..yeah.

Whit's entry reminded me of how uncomfortable theatre was today. I was under the assumption that the "essence phrase" was to be kept a secret, seeing as it's so personal and everything. I know the point was to use it and open up to the person we were doing it with, but I ended up avoiding it at all costs. I didn't even use the POV, but only because Shawn talks a lot and I can't ever get a word in. Not that that's bad or anything. I mean, at least I can realize and accept the fact that i'm reluctant to share stuff like that. It seemed as if he was avoiding the subject too by rambling about nothing. Oh well.

Things are just too..comlpicated.

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Maybe i'm just out of my mind. [02 Dec 2004|02:55pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Fucking stress.

I stayed up last night and tried to finish the mod. I got two little question things done, and then I got distracted and ended up writing about 2-3 pages of just random thoughts and things. So, needless to say, I didn't finish the mod. In fact, I ended up falling asleep on my floor.

Woke up this morning feeling like shit. The mod isn't due 'til tomorrow, but it's a group effort and someone has to type it before friday so..yeah. So I did a little during the day, and in class I got a good chunk done, save for the last little paragraph thing. I feel really guilty, 'cause now I have to find Ben sometime tomorrow morning to give it to him, and I don't think I see him ever. I'm making myself sick over this stupid thing. I don't care, but I do. (That sounds familiar..)Thank god it's only a semester course. I can't wait 'til it's over.

I don't know. Just frustrated with things, I guess. I hate when thigns linger in the back of your mind, and end up ruining everything else. I've been there way too much lately.

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[01 Dec 2004|04:01pm]
[ mood | energetic ]

Hilary is awesome.Collapse )

I had so much to say. Guess I forgot. I really wish I could be put on Aderol or something. I'd love to have an attention span. I keep pushing for it, but it never happens.

Another good day. Had a very interesting conversation with Lisa today. I tried to tell her everything without being specific, which I guess is a very bad thing to try and do. I saw where it was going, too, and it totally wasn't what I meant. I promise. Funny as hell, though.


I've been so scatterbrained lately.

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[30 Nov 2004|07:00pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Yeah, so i'm supposed to be doing mod 3 for SUPA gov. Oops.

I've been having one hell of a time trying to concentrate on things. I've come to the conclusion that it is virtually impossible to do so. There's so much to do, and I doubt it'll ever get done on time.

Anyway, today was..alright. Midge was missing today, and again theatre was completely insane. It was awesome. Managed to get a couple prints done for my photo essay, so hopefully i'll have that done by Monday. Hm. Finally got a haircut today, though i'm not too sure I like it. Bleh.

Okay, enough stalling..back to work.

Silly little thing stolen from GinnyCollapse )

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[29 Nov 2004|04:30pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

I've been so horrible at trying to form complete thoughts or sentences lately. People just need to be telepathic. It was especially hard today, since I was tired to the point where I just randomly babbled something in hopes of at least part of it being understood. Made semi-serious conversation very interesting.

But! We did kinda figure out what we're doing for our second film. We wanna do a murder mystery set in the 1920's. I have a feeling we're gonna run into a lot of technical problems with this. But! It's gonna be fun. We're just gonna need a bunch of crazy (theatre) people to join in.

I'm gonna give the photo portrait thing another try. I got lazy. I don't think the weather is gonna like me, though, that limits some things. So..gonna have to rally people up for that again.

I don't think Steffer believes me about the painting thing. Probably because I kept telling her I was gonna take it home and burn it instead of finishing it. I told her my little sister coloured on it and she kinda just gave me this look and walked away. Oops. Just for kicks i'm gonna have my mom write her a note. I really don't care, but I do kinda wish that I could use it as an excuse not to finish.

Oh well.

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[28 Nov 2004|07:48pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

Can ANYTHING go right?

"Jesus and Georgie" painting. Spent countless hours on the fucking thing, and i'm still only half done. What happens? Tori sneaks into my room while i'm at work and decides to touch up my painting..with a sharpie. So, not only d I have to finish the painting, but I also have to redo the parts I ALREADY painted because there is green and brown sharpie all over it. For fuck's sake, how hard is it to keep an eye on her? Fuck the painting, there's no way in hell i'm going back and doing that all again.

I'm so fucking sick of..this. But, unfortunetely, there's not a whole hell of a lot I can do about it right now. I don't like waiting. But, whatever. I should be used to it by now.

And to add to the shittyness, i've just been informed that i'm having my wisdom teeth removed during Christmas break. Great.

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All that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream. [28 Nov 2004|12:00am]
[ mood | amused ]

Today was pretty good.

Managed to sleep in 'til 11:30, which is a feat in itself given how noisy it is usually. The fucking phone decided to ring, and since I was the only one home (with the exception of my brother who was out cold) I had to get up and answer it. Turns out the damn thing was buried in Jon's room, so I got up for nothing.

Anyway. Went out with Heather today, went to Target for stuff, went and picked up Amber and John, then went to the mall for more stuff. Heather is awesome. Amber is awesome. Enough said.

I seriously wish there was I way I could make myself sick so I can miss school. Someone wanna donate a flu or mono or something? I'd love you for a good week or so. <3

I hate vacations. I'm supposed to be up in 6 hours to go to work. And, I just spilled cherry coke all over the desk. Go me. But that's kinda irrelevant.

I haven't bothered with any of the work I was supposed to do. Didn't even bother to look at the mod for SUPA Gov, i'm sure my group hates me by now. And that giant acyrilic painting I started eons ago is still only half done. I took it home to finish it, and I barely did anything. I've been slacking too much.

Not sure where i'm going with all of this. I should really stop using this thing.

      
mr. puggles are love
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Aww. Mr. Puggles.
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[26 Nov 2004|10:52pm]
[ mood | nauseated ]

Excessive caffiene is..bad. I think my head is going to explode.

I..forgot where I was going with that sentence. Oh yeah, i'm beginning to really like the lack of school. Too bad it's almost over. I kept meaning to hang out with people and stuff, but I guess I haven't been too social lately. I've been snippy. I apologize. I honestly don't see how people can stand me, much less like me. I'm so..moody? I dunno if that's the word I wanna use. It drives me crazy how I can never put things to words. Perhaps 'distant' is a better word. Ah well.

Should I feel bad that I missed Black Friday? I kinda wish I went out, but sleep was much more appealing. Rachel stopped by today, which was pretty cool. She lives right behind me, yet I haven't talked to her in ages. Found out a buncha things I didn't know, which is always fun.

Lets hope I get pneumonia or mono or something before monday!

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I think i'm going to be sick. [25 Nov 2004|08:36pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

I prefer absence over silence.
There are too many things to dread, and not enough to look forward to.

I don't know what to do with myself.

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[25 Nov 2004|11:50am]
[ mood | amused ]

Stupid people make me laugh. A lot.

Okay so, I guess this girl was IMing Lita and being all retarded and homophobic, so she asked me to IM this person and try to get a name from them. So I do, and she gladly offers her name. I don't know this person and they don't know me, mind you. So I relay the name back to Lita, and I dunno if the girl knew what he happened or not, but this is what she says in response;

RummerzDancer698: and y the fuck do you care who this is anyway
RummerzDancer698: you have no friends
RummerzDancer698: and your a lesbian

I found it funny. I love how when people don't know you enough or can't think of anything original they say "you have no friends" or "'your' gay" (note the poor use of grammar) or something equally retarded. I'm surprised she didn't call me stupid. Ahaha.


Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving!

This just in! I am a loooser.

RummerzDancer698: loooser
E0n Bleu: Okay cool.

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[24 Nov 2004|10:10pm]
[ mood | miserable ]

I must document this amazing feat.

My room is CLEANCollapse )

Oh. And. I keep forgeting to mention this. My army jacket has been missing for some time..if anyone happens to find it PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know. I think I have an idea of where I may have left it, but the people whose houses I believe it's at are reluctant to look for it. Hmph.

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[24 Nov 2004|05:36pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

Today actually wasn't so bad.

Didn't bother to crawl out of bed until 10:30, after staying up 'til 3. FINALLY got around to cleaning my room and rearranging stuff, but now there's a pile of junk on my bed that i'm not sure what to do with. Damnation. But I feel so much better now that my room is clean, it was really beginning to bother me.

I found a bunch of hair dye in my room, some of it unopened. I think I wanna dye my hair again, but I dunno. I don't wanna waste any of it. Maybe i'll wait 'til Christmas break to experiment.

I have to work tomorrow, how fuckin' cheap is that? We better be eating early tomorrow, or else i'll die. Happy Thanksgiving, though. Consider yourselves lucky.

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May dreams be brought that I might reach, the gentle strains of midnight speech. [23 Nov 2004|10:14pm]
[ mood | cold ]

Part of me wishes we still had school this week.

It keeps me busy, and keeps me from actually having to stop and think about things. These next couple of days are going to be hell, I know it. There are so many things I could do to keep busy, but I either don't have the attention span or the will to do them, maybe even a combination of both. I don't know.

I want to talk about it, but I don't. I don't like details, but maybe a general overview of things would work. Maybe. I just hate how some people get when they try to give you advice. I appreciate it, but it doesn't always work. Maybe it's because some people come off as condescending, and I hate that.

And I don't know if anyone noticed, but I do log IPs of those who comment, so I can get a pretty good idea of who anonymous commenters are. Not completely sure whether or not people understood that, so I figured i'd mention that.

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For I was born in love with thee so why should fate stand inbetween? [23 Nov 2004|02:58pm]
[ mood | blah ]

Idea.

Since we have 5 or so days off of school, I wanna do a personal photo project of sorts. I wanna do a bunch of random people portraits, indoor and outdoor. I can't really think of any themes or anything, but I do know as far as clothing goes I want something a little more "unique", perhaps even dressy. I dunno, perhaps someone could help with ideas. Anyway! Anyone interested in being my guinea pig(s)? I don't care how many people I have, I just want interesting portraits. And if anyone has taken photo or is good with picture taking and wants to help me with a self-portrait kinda thing, that would be awesome too. These are all in black and white, if it makes any difference.

I think I eventually wanna do the teaparty project, and i'm thinking of doing a few more graveyard portraits, since they came out kinda neat. I can always combine the two. Buuuut, if anyone is actually interested in this and has any other ideas that would be cool too.

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Maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me.. [22 Nov 2004|04:37pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

Still not feeling too well mentally, but a few good things did happen.

First, I managed to reel and develop the film from my photo essay with any problems, and I even had time to make a contact sheet, and I really like how the photos turned out. Kinda wish I could fix or add a picture or two but hey, what can ya do? And unless I hallucinated or read it wrong, I got casted as Moth for Midsummer. Squee! Yes, she only has like..three lines but I adore that name, and Moth is a fairy and..yeah. It's cool. Shut up. Though I prolly should've gone for someone with more parts. Ah well, I <3 Moth.

Besdies that things kinda..suck. I fucking hate thinking.

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[21 Nov 2004|08:07pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Color quizCollapse )

ColorgenicsCollapse )

Yeah..so needless to say I haven't been very happy. And I don't think I wanna talk about it. But, I think it's accurate enough to take place of an actual entry.

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